The last ten months have been quite the journey for me. I never thought in a million years that I would watch my mother take her last breath, and leave this earth. The amount of emotion and pain that an only child feels for their parent is unbearable. Writing for me is something that I connect to when I need an outlet a place to go for release and find my creative flow. Unfortunately it has also been stifled. Not only has the loss of my mother hinders my creative flow, it seemed as a number of deaths followed closely behind her. The grim reaper taking friends and family in flash behind her.
I know that in life everyone has to face their own mortality and we don’t know when we will take our last breath, everyday is not promised. I know this, but the amount of sadness that follows is something I wasn’t prepared to take on, and continuing to work through on a daily basis. Relationships in my life have been put to the test. Friendships have been questioned, as well as what I am to do and go from here. I think in a certain sense everything I really thought would be accomplished hasn’t in these last ten months. I am at a loss and not sure on what is next. Do I continue to push myself to write, and release content? Do I leave the state that I am in and start anew somewhere else? So many questions asked with very few answers materializing.
So for now I continue to push forward into the unknown, waiting to see what is next and new for me. Until then…..